Well, here I am...A mother, a loving daughter, a sister, a faithful friend and companion, a caring, compassionate and humble person that after 37 yrs, finally realizes how important and precious life is.
So many people have come and gone throughout my life and many footprints have been left. Some of the prints left were positive which I hold dear to my heart even to this very day. However some prints left had a very negative impact on my life, so much so that I lost sight of who I was as a person. I had no idea who Tracey was anymore. I was a confused, scared and depressed young woman who felt that she was not worthy enough to enjoy the great things this world had to offer, including love.
I am not sure of the exact moment when my life began to change for the better because it was not just one thing, it was an accumulation of events that helped strengthen me as a person.
I firmly believe it was the birth of my daughter that began the "healing Tracey process". Brittney taught me how to be more responsible with the choices I made for my life and also made me realize that I am no longer only living for myself but I am living for her. Her birth also showed me what true love is. Prior to knowing I was carrying her inside me, love was just a word that I would use when I wanted something or when I thought it needed to be said. There are a select group of people I would use the word "love" towards and it would actually have meaning behind it but that was not the norm.
When I first held my daughter something happened to me inside that I have never experienced prior to that moment and could never put into words.
When Brittney was a tiny baby (Brittney was NEVER tiny, she weight 10lbs and was 22 inch long when she was born) she would look at me with such admiration and delight. Brittney knew that I was there to protect and provide for her and give her all the love I had locked away deep inside of my heart many many years ago. Brittney had the right key to open my heart, and from that day forward love has been flowing from me as if my heart were niagra falls.
Brittney is a joy to be around. Her magnetic personality draws people to her in a way that is amazing to watch.
What a blessing Brittney has been, not only to me but to everyone she comes in contact with.
Brittney is my beginning and my end and without her in my life I am nothing.
Brittney, I know you are not old enough to fully comprehend what i have written, but I want you to know that your mommy loves you with every breath in her body and with every inch of her being. I now know that when I pass on beyond this world my life will have had a purpose and I will know that I was truly loved and I was able to love someone in return.... unconditionally
Friends and Guests, enjoy the pictures and thanks for stopping by :)
( 3/02/2005)
